Encouragement for Covid-19 homeschoolers

The many pros and cons

We sat down every year and weighed the pros and cons. There is an honest and helpful list here. We worried about making sure our children had friends. What would being home with the family most of the time do to them? We weighed the cost of living on one salary. What about those rites of passage like prom and school athletics? There was no way either of us could “teach” all subjects. Would our children have gaps in their education? The specifics changed from year to year, but there were always cons…and there were always pros. In the end, we discovered ways to mitigate the cons and accentuate the pros. We eventually settled into a rhythm in our homeschooling, but it didn’t come without a LOT of tears.

Advice to my beginner homeschooling self

The first year was so scary and overwhelming. I would love to say it became easy…but that would be a lie. Most of my confidence in homeschooling grew from painful lessons and joyful epiphanies. I’m not perfect, my children are not perfect and neither was their education. Our home always looked like a tornado had just blown through. We often subsisted on easy crock pot meals and a lot of cereal. But there were days and times of amazing growth and learning for us…and for our children. Our family became a team. The boys learned…including subjects not taught in schools. So, if you’re just beginning this journey, my advice is to try the next 5 suggestions. While they didn’t make homeschooling easy, they worked for us. Most of all, I want to provide encouragement for Covid-19 homeschoolers. You can do this!

• Don’t replicate school
• Trust yourself and be flexible
• Children learn what they live
• There are seasons of learning
• When in doubt, just love on them

Don’t replicate school

The most important thing my mother (a former teacher) taught me was “don’t try to replicate school.” I will admit I didn’t listen at first. I bought a teacher planner and a box of kindergarten curriculum with teacher’s manuals and workbooks. Each school day was scheduled just like the local elementary school schedule. My son chafed at all the structure. He would rather be working on a puzzle or legos while we read our history lesson. Often he was building forts with his little brother while I read aloud. Most days didn’t follow a tight schedule. We might spend all afternoon on something of particular interest. We were often finished with the “assignments” by lunch time. These things did not fit into my preconceived notions of “school,” but they worked.

Let me save you a little time and frustration….and give a little encouragement to Covid-19 homeschoolers. Let them play while you read. Go outside (or somewhere with a little room) and teach them math while they play. Both my sons learned their addition, subtraction, multiplication and division facts while shooting baskets in the front driveway. Any way you can add movement and fun (and mess) to a subject will increase the chance of the lesson sticking with them. There are so many ways to do this. Go online to get ideas. Think about what would make the subject more interesting for you to teach. Teaching can be fun for you, too.

Trust yourself and be flexible

You know yourself and your child better than anyone. Do not listen to all of the “kind” advice about the best ways to homeschool. Every child and family is unique. This is one of the pros of homeschooling. You can make it match your family. My husband traveled a lot while we were homeschooling, so much of our learning took place in parks and museums. Every subject, even math, can be learned in these places. While we traveled, our sons learned life skills like how to read maps. My husband and I felt being together as a family was more important than traditional schooling. It wasn’t always easy, but we knew ourselves and our children. Portable learning was our priority. You will have your own. Trust yourself to figure it out and give yourself room to try different things.

Children learn what they live

Growing up my mother had a poem hanging in our home. I read it often. When I became a mom, I realized all the wisdom it contained. Here is a portion I particularly loved.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

*Read the entire poem here.

Copyright Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

Children can learn kindness, patience and perseverance during this time of quarantine. These traits will serve them well for the rest of their life. For those of you with more than one student at home, let your older children help teach the younger ones. My oldest son excelled at math early on. He would often play his math games or work on practice problems with his younger brother. It always amazed me how much they both learned. Growing close as siblings was another positive by-product.

Lessons are learned in daily life

What children learn when they are at home with their family is much more varied than just reading, writing and arithmetic. They will learn everyday life skills like tidying, planning meals, budgeting, time management….and the list goes on and on. When everyone is at home together, life happens. It is 24/7 learning. You will be surprised at all the things they pick up that are not on their computer lessons or worksheets.

Now that we are sheltering in place because of Covid-19, think of everyday ways to teach. Cooking is an excellent way to teach math. Working in the garden teaches biology. Looking at the night sky teaches astronomy. Writing about anything teaches language arts and handwriting (computer skills for older students). Sorting clothes teaches little ones about colors. If you start looking around for these opportunities, they will seem natural after a while. And remember the lesson in Dr. Nolte’s poem….children are always watching. Life lessons are being instilled during this time in ways we can’t even imagine.

There are seasons of learning

Every day, every month and every year are different. There were times when I was congratulating myself for a job well done. And there were times I was on my knees sobbing and convinced our sons weren’t learning anything. Some days I wanted my life (and home) back. Just like marriage, work, and other family seasons, homeschooling has an ebb and flow. Some of the seasons are predictable like excitement at the beginning of the school year and complete burnout for both teachers and students at the end. Give yourself grace during the not so great moments and remember to pat yourself on the back for the good ones.

Maybe the best encouragement for new Covid-19 homeschoolers is this, “you are doing a fantastic job.” You were dumped into this without any preparation, few tools, and a LOT of other things to worry about. Add this to the fact that we are entering the end of the school year and there is ample reason to worry. Don’t. Your children were learning before lockdown and they have not forgotten it all. They are learning all kinds of things in quarantine which they would not have learned in school. You are not harming them by teaching whatever you can in any day. Children are sponges and soak up so much around them. Just get to the organized stuff when you can. This is a season of schooling. It won’t be like this forever. All of you who were thrust into homeschooling without a choice are amazing.

When in doubt, just love on them

This advice works for homeschooling and life in general. When I was at the end of my patience or felt like I was failing my sons, I would just sit down on the floor with them to play for a bit. Or, we might take a walk or a drive together. Whether it was my attitude or theirs, giving grace and showing love always worked. And for new homeschoolers, include yourself in this. We are all doing the best we can in conditions we never could have imagined. The best encouragement I know for new Covid-19 homeschoolers is to err on the side of love and grace. Know you are uniquely chosen to parent these little ones and they will learn all kinds of things in this season. And, if we all give our children some extra love during this time, it will go a long way in helping them feel secure and less frightened. It’s pretty good medicine for us as adults, too.

You can do it

Remember the famous World War II poster with Rosie the Riveter assuring Americans “We Can Do It!” My parents gave me a mug with this image on it and it sits on my desk. There were many days during our family’s homeschooling journey when I needed to hear this. It’s the encouragement I would like to send to all new Covid-19 homeschoolers. “You can do it!”