Living Beautifully
My Grandmother Inspired Living Beautifully
My grandmother gave me the book, Living a Beautiful Life by Alexandra Stoddard when I started my first adult job and rented my first apartment. I admit I really didn’t “get it” at the time. The advice seemed of another era and generation. I politely thanked her, wrote a proper thank you note and promptly put the book on a shelf. So imagine my surprise when, while cleaning my bookshelf, I stumbled upon it and actually began to read. Instantly, I was transported to the world my grandmother created.
Living Beautifully is Not Living Perfectly
The subtitle of this book is “500 Ways to add elegance, order, beauty and joy to every day of your life.” This strikes me in a much different way at 52 than it did at 24. My young self was focused on my career. The last thing I was focusing on was creating beauty in my everyday life. It was laughable to my “yuppie” self back then. So when I picked it up last week, my reaction was different. There is something relaxing about it now…the idea of finding joy and beauty in the daily. After spending the last twenty-five years getting married, building a home and raising children, I finally have time to pause and realize life is just too short (and goes by too quickly) not make every moment count. This isn’t a call to perfection that my grandmother was trying to share…it’s a call to daily living.
My Grandmother’s Version of Living Beautifully
As a child, I remember silly little things about my grandmother. She would serve me strawberries in a pretty silver bowl. If she was having champagne, I would get a teaspoon full. She had a delightful little giggle and I was fascinated by her. As I got older, I loved watching her with my grandfather. Their outfits always complemented each other. The table always looked beautiful…set with fresh flowers, pressed linen napkins and fanciful china. Her closet was arranged by color like a rainbow. She had a habit of walking around with a handkerchief (monogrammed of course) and polishing things. I thought of her as a sort of rare bird…a peacock perhaps. She was elegant and refined….and yet fun. As a self-conscious girl, I felt I could never measure up to her example or standards. Now as I look back, I see the reality of her life from a woman’s perspective.
Beautiful is not always happy or picture perfect
My grandmother was not my grandmother by blood. My Nana passed away when I was just a baby and my grandfather remarried. She didn’t have children of her own….the result of a hysterectomy when she was quite young. She was raised by relatives because her parents were unable to care for her. As a young woman, she was briefly married until her husband came home from the war with what was then called”shell shock.” She was about the age I am now when she married my grandfather. She was a single, successful businesswoman with her own company. She was a feminist before there was even a word for it.
Within five years of their marriage, my grandfather was diagnosed with ALS. My grandmother took care of him with elegance, dignity and a lot of difficult work for the next eight years until he passed. Eventually, she remarried. She and my grandfather had been so in love; I wondered what her new marriage would be like. But just like always, she completely embraced it. They had several whirlwind years of travel, parties and entertaining…until he, too, became ill. And once again, she nursed her husband – through Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. When she passed a few years later, I was so surprised to read her obituary which she wrote herself. After so much heartbreak, she was grateful for “living a beautiful life.” It seemed as if there had been so much pain. How could she maintain a vision of a beautiful life through the end of her own?
Living Beautifully 2019 Edition
When I came across this book and read the inscription my grandmother wrote to my 24 year-old self, I saw, in hindsight, the toughness required to live her life and call it “beautiful.” Now I see that beauty requires strength and determination through every season of life. It is in the normal, everyday that beauty is found. It’s just as easy to arrange strawberries in a pretty bowl. Why save it for a “special occasion?” My grandmother made it seem effortless, but it requires forethought and intent. The small daily rituals make up a life. Now I understand her mindset so much better. As I go into 2019, I hope to savor this book month-by-month and slowly incorporate the mindset of “living beautifully” as a day-to-day way of squeezing joy out of the little things….and thereby life.
Living beautifully is in the little things
The first chapter in Living a Beautiful Life is about “ritual.” What are the daily rituals of life and how can we savor them? As I move through 2019, I want to take my time with this book….reading it slowly and enjoying the process of learning the art of living beautifully.
I’ve become convinced that only by paying careful attention to the simple details of daily tasks and to our immediate surroundings can we live vitally and beautifully all the days of our lives. It takes a commitment to enjoy each day fully. And it takes respect for the significance of grace.”
– Alexandra Stoddard, Living a Beautiful Life
In the end, I realize my grandmother was gifting me with more than a book all those years ago. She was gifting me with a secret. It’s a secret that served her well through the joys and sorrows of life. It’s the secret that led her to thank God for letting her live such a beautiful life when she wrote her own obituary. Even her passing was thoughtfully (and beautifully) done. I now aspire to be able to say the same. It’s time to go into the New Year with intention….savoring everything and making it special. Let’s squeeze every bit of joy out of even the ordinary and learn the habit of living beautifully.
